I never imagined, as I look at myself carefully, on what was reflected on the mirror. Plenty of things have changed, I thought. The innocence I once had wasn't there anymore. My life was opened to a new world, the rainbow and gay world of being a lesbian.
I was also like other young girls who fell for somebody but the difference is, I fell for a woman. She was older than me for about 5 years. The relationship didn't last long than I expected. It only lasted for 3 months. We just had so many differences which made the relationship really difficult to work with. It was a very painful relationship for me because I was very in love with her. I was young and in love, who could blame me for that. After that experience, things have changed, I became distant and basically my life shifted one hundred eighty degrees. I was doing good in school before I met her and I could say I was the top of the class. I had so much dream and passion towards life but until I met her, nothing was passionate about it anymore. I didn't blame her for what had changed. I cherish everything that happened, it strengthened me and encouraged me to become better. It took me more than a year to accept what happened. The days and nights of crying was a common routine for me. I admit I once held grudges against her and the world but as time passed by, the wounds started healing however, memories were still there taunting and mocking. I was still thankful, despite the bitter experience, I still maintained my grades and I met somebody, who I could say was an angel from heaven. We dated for a some time until we entered into a contractual relationship. I challenged her to be in a relationship with me for a year and said, "Let's see if it works out". I didn't expect that things would work out between us. She was my girlfriend for almost two years. She was the longest relationship I had. There were plenty of memorable moments with her that I embraced and kept. She could have been the perfect partner however, there were some differences that we had. Maybe it was my problem, or could be I had issues. I felt that I wasn't growing and I was stuck in the middle. I decided to broke up with her which she didn't agree at first. I waited until the idea will sink in her mind and I broke up with her. Despite the idea that we had already broken up, we still live together under the same roof, which I regretted sometimes. Sometimes, nothing changed between the two of us despite that we are already broken up. We still do the usual routines, waking up in the morning, sharing ideas about books, news and whatever things that are intellectual, going out to bars, eating in restaurants, having coffee and basically just everything, we always did together. Sometimes, I could say that I should do something about this. I really do not know what to do anymore in my life. Everything is just out of my control which is making me depress, because I am used to having control over everything. I still hope for tomorrow. For now, I will just wait patiently for whatever that may come into my life. This is it for now, just a recollection of some memories.
I was also like other young girls who fell for somebody but the difference is, I fell for a woman. She was older than me for about 5 years. The relationship didn't last long than I expected. It only lasted for 3 months. We just had so many differences which made the relationship really difficult to work with. It was a very painful relationship for me because I was very in love with her. I was young and in love, who could blame me for that. After that experience, things have changed, I became distant and basically my life shifted one hundred eighty degrees. I was doing good in school before I met her and I could say I was the top of the class. I had so much dream and passion towards life but until I met her, nothing was passionate about it anymore. I didn't blame her for what had changed. I cherish everything that happened, it strengthened me and encouraged me to become better. It took me more than a year to accept what happened. The days and nights of crying was a common routine for me. I admit I once held grudges against her and the world but as time passed by, the wounds started healing however, memories were still there taunting and mocking. I was still thankful, despite the bitter experience, I still maintained my grades and I met somebody, who I could say was an angel from heaven. We dated for a some time until we entered into a contractual relationship. I challenged her to be in a relationship with me for a year and said, "Let's see if it works out". I didn't expect that things would work out between us. She was my girlfriend for almost two years. She was the longest relationship I had. There were plenty of memorable moments with her that I embraced and kept. She could have been the perfect partner however, there were some differences that we had. Maybe it was my problem, or could be I had issues. I felt that I wasn't growing and I was stuck in the middle. I decided to broke up with her which she didn't agree at first. I waited until the idea will sink in her mind and I broke up with her. Despite the idea that we had already broken up, we still live together under the same roof, which I regretted sometimes. Sometimes, nothing changed between the two of us despite that we are already broken up. We still do the usual routines, waking up in the morning, sharing ideas about books, news and whatever things that are intellectual, going out to bars, eating in restaurants, having coffee and basically just everything, we always did together. Sometimes, I could say that I should do something about this. I really do not know what to do anymore in my life. Everything is just out of my control which is making me depress, because I am used to having control over everything. I still hope for tomorrow. For now, I will just wait patiently for whatever that may come into my life. This is it for now, just a recollection of some memories.
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